U & Me

The girls made these dough figurings in the morning of 14 Sep. They said it's their papa and me. Oh my! Now I know how big my mouth is.

How have you been S? We were just talking about you the other day. The girls remembered you used a belt to beat them a couple of weeks before you left. They asked about reincarnation, life after death, and again, how to look for you or me when they're up there. J ended the conversation by saying, "I feel like crying now."

It's been 2 yrs and slightly more than 3 months. We miss you.

The other day, just 2 Mondays ago, I thought I almost meeting you for a cuppa. I was woken up by this sudden pain in my chest which lasted for 20 - 30mins. Thought I'm not going to make it and said, "Please, I don't have time to chit chat with you now or go jalan jalan. Let me bring up the girls first. They need me. I will see you after both of them are married and found someone to take care of them." Well,I think you heard me. My pain just went off after that and all the checks and scans showed that my heart is still going strong. Wish me luck.

Our ToTo dream

Monday, 13 Oct 08:

Today, the ToTo draw is est to be S$ 3m. Since last Saturday, I have been telling the girls, I will be buying ToTo. If I strike, I can buy 2 condos and rent them out and resign, to be a full time housewife, ferry them to school, fetch them home, engage tutors for them and they don't have to go to HOS anymore. They're happy. They have been asking me to be a housewife for months...especially for the past few months cos I have been so tied up with work.

So last night, Mum and I told the girls they have to wake up happily this morning, don't be grumpy/ cranky or scold each other and the God of Prosperity (Cai Sheng) will visit us. Who knows, their mummy might be lucky and they will have a full time mummy soon :)

When I dropped the girls at school, they're both smiling happily, very cheerful and J even reminded me to buy ToTo. They even hugged each other's shoulder while walking to the parade square. To me, this's one of my happiest moments - my girls are happy and love each other dearly. Really make my day and what a beautiful morning (of course, the fact that all my 3 bosses are not in town make me merrier ;P)

This evening, when I was at HOS, J secretly pulled me to a corner and with a cheeky smile, asked if I have bought Toto. Yes, of course and she's like jumping with joy and almost 100% sure that their being happy and their prayers will bring me luck. J kept pestering me to check the ToTo result from 7.30pm onward and we only turned on the teletext at about 8.45pm and saw of all the 7 numbers on the screen, non of them were the luck 7s selected by J on her B'day. Mum and I just shrugged it off but I saw J rubbing her eyes. Then they got red and wet...when I asked what happened, J cried and said," Wah ~~~~ I want you to be housewife. I don't want you to work. I want you to buy condo and rent it out. I don't want to go HOS. ....Wah ~~~"

Mum and I couldn't help and we laughed out loud. Poor girl, this was the first time I saw her dream shattered so badly. Yes, she's been pestering me to pierce her ears; buy her DS or PSP or PPS..(those handheld games) but my persistent no doesn't dampen her spirit. This time, she seemed torn.

Girl, life is not a bed of roses. I don't like to see you being sad and I know it's also not right for me to paint that ToTo dream to you. We don't always get what we wish for in life. Sometimes, we get double dose of what we didn't ask for. We just have to live in the NoW and cherish what we have, even though it might not be something we enjoy having, there's a reason for it.

I will always remember this morning's happy moments.