A date with the surgeon

Saturday, 9 Aug 08

I think this is the first time in my life that I didn't sit in front of the TV and watch the NDP 2008. Not in the mood and feeling tired.

The lumps on S's neck have mostly subsided except one. That particular big lump continues to grow when S stopped taking her antibiotics. So Wednesday, 6 Aug, her doc suggested S to go under the knife to remove that lump just for the peace of mind and send those tissues for test. Hopefully it's nothing serious.

While waiting for the appointment date and time at the counter, I checked with the KK staff if the doc is an experienced one or a trainee doc. Luckily she said the doc is a Professor and a Senior Surgeon and an Ang Mo. The Professor and the Senior Surgeon part gave me a peace of mind but the girls went Woo... Ahh....Ang Mo and they started giggling about Ang Mos etc and boy...it's embarrassing. They got so excited to meet this Ang Mo Doc before knowing whether it's a She or He or Shim....What's wrong with the kids nowadays? They grow so fast and started to get interested in a lot of things much earlier than our time.

So his coming Tuesday, 12 Aug at 2pm, S and I ... and J will be meeting her surgeon. I supposed S will be going for the day surgery at the earliest possible date. She's worried. I told her that she will be given a mask to breath and after a few seconds, she will be dozzing off and maybe drooling. She won't feel anything and by the time she's awake, she will be back home and ready for dinner. She didn't worry too much I guess but I do.

Ever since M passed on, whenever the girls leave my sight or stay at Lao Da's place, I start to worry and my imagination will go wild....then I will start to cry. His death was too sudden to all of us. I guess this affected me very much and I don't feel secure when I don't see the girls. I'm afraid they will be like him, didn't get to say good-bye and the next thing I knew, he's lying in the hospital covered with white sheet and a tube sticking out of his mouth.

Will S be alright? I supposed it's a very simple op and won't have any complications. But it's on her neck. Will the doc accidentally cut her other veins etc? I'm panicking and yet have to pretend as if nothing worrying cos I don't want S to be worried and scared.

With that bloody office reno going on and forever changing and nothing seems to be going on smoothly; on the home front, S is making me worried sick and with our Lao Dou's ignorance and greed, all these are making me tensed;plus my in-law's direct and indirect questions. I seriously think of quitting my job and be a full time mum.

I hate being torn by work and family. The girls want me to be by their side and fetch them home every day. They're so happy when I went to school and pick them up for S's hospital appointments. J's face really brightened up. S's face glowed and my heart warmed just to see them feeling so happy.

Who were the 8 lucky souls who have won the S$ 8 million ToTo draw yesterday? I haven't check my Toto slips yet but sure hope I am one of them and I can be so close to my girls till they get sick of me :P

S & J - mummy love you and may both of you be blessed with great health and happiness. It's important to get good academic results but I rather you be happy than super smart.

Pray for S that her day surgery will be ok and she'll be fine.